Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
So much funukkah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

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When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me

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David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?
Bowzer from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli

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Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half, too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew

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You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, both Jewish

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Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs
Celebrates Chanukah

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O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew, he converted
We got Ann Landers and her sister, Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish, not too shabby

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Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well, he's not, but guess who is?
All three Stooges
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is

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Tell your friend, Veronica
It's time you celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin and tonic-ah
And smoke your marijuani-khah
If you really, really wanna-kah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah
Happy Chanukah